Those are four words I never thought would come to mind on my last flight on the airline formally known as Midwest – that shall not be named – two weeks ago. So much for best care in the air…cold chocolate chip cookies, not even luke warm! Madness, I tell you! I sat in my seat sadly and silently pouting along with the girl next to me. At that moment, it was clear that Midwest was no longer Midwest (at least the tail of our plane didn’t have an animal on it…my mind could NOT have handled such ridiculousness). My feelings about the sad demise and re-branding of Midwest can be said best from a recent article by the witty Jim Stingl of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Honestly, I’m in LOVE with the rhyming. So clever.
REMEMBERING MIDWEST AS ONE OF THE BEST
It’s a done deal now no matter how we protest, the skies will soon be devoid of Midwest.
Our personal airline now goes by Frontier, with seats that have room for a much smaller rear.
We heard finally this week that Midwest was all done, like the riddle of Tommy and whether he’d run.
The landscape is littered with names in decay, Eastern, Braniff, TWA.
I know it’s a little hard to digest, this airline formerly known as Midwest.
With or without the Express in its name, Midwest was iconic like the gas weather flame.
Milwaukee we loved the grayish blue jets, and now they’re extinct like your father’s cassettes.
Best care in the air was more than just words, penned by an army of marketing nerds.
They truly made it a pleasure to fly, like taking your living room up in the sky.
Seats out of leather and legroom galore, hours in the air and you weren’t even sore.
The food came on china so classy so neat, you’d forget you were up there thousands of feet.
But wait! The cookies! Yes, they will abide. And may I suggest some raw milk on the side.
It always struck me a little insane, how chocolate chip cookies could fill up a plane.
It’s nice this warm treat they’re still planning to keep, but mostly we want a direct flight that’s cheap.
And running a slight risk of sounding like nags, do you think you could spare us the charges for bags?
Set up a super duper special committee, to get people and luggage to the very same city.
The industry’s latest kick to the groin – the airliner bathroom may cost you a coin.
Sure, this has all been a fun parlor game, but you can see we care about more than the name.
The Midwest departure could cause us to mope, but these days it’s better than being the pope.
Recent years saw plenty of cuts, with attendants and pilots out on their butts.
One local wag gave a quote on demand, said we have seen “a slow fade of the brand.”
Losing the name at this juncture sucks. Blah! But whatever happened to Timothy Hoeksema?
Now the new boss is this Bryan Bedford dude, he hopes we believe that we’re not getting screwed.
He said the new brand was a “difficult call,” but they always say that as you’re nailed to the wall.
Our center for conventions you’ll notice will change, Frontier on the name sign will feel rather strange.
Not sure how dire is the Midwest name’s fate; could it be we’re now a Frontier-ern state?
I’ll miss the familiar name of our carrier, though other problems we face still are much hairier.
Just when you think it’s the ultimate snub, it helps to remember that we’re still a hub.
Frontier will grow on us the more we partake, like the algae in August down at the lake.
Frontier paints animals right on the tail, but snakes on a plane wouldn’t help make a sale.
They’re planning a badger to toss in the mix, appeasing us locals is one of their tricks.
Naming the badger brings a prize to the best, my humble suggestion is to call him “Midwest.”