Yesterday was my 23rd spinal fusion-versary. Twenty-three years of living with rods on my spine, holding it straight, keeping the scoliosis curves at bay. While it all seems like a lifetime ago, not a day goes by where I’m not reminded of what I went through—and that, despite surgery, I still have scoliosis. I don’t mean that negatively either. That realization was eye-opening for me: the spinal fusion didn’t cure my scoliosis. It’s something I’ll always have and over the years, I’ve really come to appreciate my body for what it can do versus what it can’t do.
If you’ve been here before, you know that I write about my experiences with scoliosis and spinal fusion quite frequently. You may be asking yourself: what new things could she possibly have to say about it all? Well, there’s always more to discover with this condition—especially as you age and enter into new phases of life. I was a shy, active 15-year-old when I had the surgery. Now, I’m a (still shy) 38-year-old who’s adjusting to life as a new mom while simultaneously trying to regain her strength and physical endurance. That is quite a dichotomy.
I don’t have anything profound or inspiring to say about scoliosis this time around (23 is kind of a “meh” milestone year, if you ask me). There are good days and not-so-good days, but mostly, I’m just continually grateful for the body I have and what it continues to do each and every day—scoliosis, spinal fusion, and all. And I couldn’t be more thankful for how my back handled both pregnancy, labor, and delivery last year (read more about it here). I’m still in awe of how well it fared. I had zero expectations of how my back would do and was pleasantly surprised—granted, our little girl decided to make her debut 3.5 weeks early, so I missed the later, and arguably most notoriously uncomfortable, weeks of pregnancy, which I’m certainly not mad about.
The postpartum period has been more challenging for my back than I anticipated (frequent aches and pains in new places from caring for an infant), but that’s a story for another day. My body still looks different and not quite where I’d envisioned it being at 18 weeks postpartum—that’s been a bit difficult to overcome. But it’s a work in progress. Rebuilding upper body and core strength is hard for anyone after pregnancy, and even more so for us scoliosis and spinal fusion warriors. It’s going to take time, consistency, and patience, just like recovering from the surgery itself.
But through it all—23 years, multiple marathons, 10+ half marathons, long flights around the world, and one adorable baby later—my scar is still badass and I’m not afraid to rock it.
Tall Girl in a Small State 
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